PARENTING

PARENTING A GIFT OF LOVE

Parenting is the most difficult task that you will ever have in your life. At the same time it is the most wonderful gift of nature. Children project their parents to be their hero or heroine so it is very important for parents to set a good example for their children

EFFECTIVE PARENTING SKILLS

EFFECTIVE PARENTING SKILLS
"THE GREATEST GIFT OF LIFE"
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Saturday, January 31, 2009

10 GOLDEN TIPS FOR SINGLE PARENTS

Parenting is virtually a difficult, challenging, and rewarding job in your path towards life. However, single parenting is the most difficult process as most of the responsibility of bringing up a child relies on a single person. To perform the duty of a mother and a father can be a frustrating, uncontrollable and exhausting task. Here is some valuable advice offered by professionals to help single parents in efficiently raising their child.
1. Give top priority to your child: Concentrate more on your child by giving him the utmost priority. Try to participate effectively in every action of your child and make strong bond with love, care and attention. You may sometimes need to sacrifice more by giving priority to your children. However, this act can give you more happiness and honor in the life ahead. Take care of your personal welfare and effectually maintain this difficult task and you can inevitably mold your child in to a successful human being.
2. Steady and positive discipline formation: Being single by fate can bring down your confidence level. However, feel strong and emphasize discipline in your life in a self-assured and non-emotional mode. Make sure to implement the disciplinary actions on your child and ensure that he/she follows it in a steady and positive way.
3. Proper and effective communication: An effective single parent needs to implement open and proper communication in the family. Be open your children and communicate with them in the most caring way. Ask them about their school, their activities and friends. Try to understand their likes and dislikes through effective communication. Concentrate your entire energy on assuring that your beloved feels comfortable and stress free while communicating to you.
4. Be honest and explain your emotions: A sudden expression of anger in any case, may evolve questions in the minds of your child. So be honest and explain the state of anger and the reasons. Losing once temper is a common phenomenon but the presence of you child at that instance can be more dangerous. Accept the reality, explain that to your kid and ensure him that you will
adopt better ways to deal with your temper.
5. Organize the household and finances: A thriving single parent takes care of the needs of the family in a useful manner. Try to maintain a calendar and make sure you use your source of income efficiently and effectively. It is very important for a single parent to be successfully organized in the case of finances and fulfilling the needs of the child. Always pre-plan your activities to avoid messing up at the last moment. Give responsibilities to your child considering their age group. This will help to develop them into responsible people in life.
6. Maintain good habits: Try to implement good habits in daily routines. Maintain proper habits with bedtime routines as well as study activities. This helps to acquire stability, organization and good manners in your child.
7. Positive relation with relatives (especially the separated parent):Maintain co-operation and positive association with the child’s separated parent as much as feasible. Encourage the child to be with the other person and make them both involved in and influence each other's state of being. Even though you may possess a feeling of hatred towards the separated parent, try to co-operate considering your child's benefit. However, if the person poses a threat to the child, remember that the child's safety comes first.
8. Positive perception: You are definitely assigned with challenging tasks as single parenting but always maintain a positive perception towards life. Your perception and outlook may influence your child's attitude. If you possess a positive outlook and perception in a difficult situation, your kid may also adopt this positive perspective. This may even help them to survive and flourish in difficult stages of their life.
9. Spend more time with your child: With single parenting, it is more important for you to spend more time with your child and to be involved in your activities. Indulge in pleasurable activities such as playing, gardening, and outings. This shared time and understanding helps to develop a strong bond with you and your child. This may even erase all the worries of the child associated with the separation of his other parent. This time can be very relaxing and rewarding for the both of you.
10. Appreciate your child: Let your child understand your love and appreciation. Appreciate your child in a proper way and show off your love, care and appreciation, although it is evident. Too many parents spend all their energy correcting their child. Do not forget to praise you child when he does well. They eat it up.Being a single mother or father and simultaneously performing the duties of both the parents, to bring up your child is no more a difficult task. The advice of professionals and your implementation of that advice can help you transform the tasks of single parenting into pleasurable ones.

By: Jonnie Blaylock

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

PARENTING TIPS

PARENTING TIPS

Many parents love to giving various parenting tips. If you are a parent, you may have encountered a number of them. We have to appreciate their advice as it is based on their experience and experience do count in any advises. However, you may be confused as you could be overloaded with tons of tips and advises. The key here is to know which one is suitable for you and which one may not be suitable.
Determining Usefulness
The first step is to determine if you can or want to use a tip. Obviously, you will ruin into tips that you just do not agree with or feel are just not for you. Those you can disregard. However, more often you will likely be unsure if a tip is useful. Try the following to see if those tips are useful for you:
- Ask yourself if it seem reasonable.
- Determine is you would actually do this.
- Think about how it would work for you and your kids.
If you are still not sure if the tip is good, what you can do it give it a try and see the result.
Trial and Error
As mentioned, the next thing to do is try the tips out. See if they do work. If something doesn't work then let it go. If that tip works for your kids, put it in your list of skills.
Sometimes you can not tell if something will work unless you give it a try and there is nothing wrong with that.
Ways to Use Them
Parenting tips come in many forms and you may wonder how the heck to even use a tip. Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed. When you get a good tip try writing it down and when a good time comes up use it. You do not have to feel pressured to change your style to parenting just because they are the best parenting tips in the world. Let them happen naturally. Use them if you need them. Do not impose yourself to apply the tips as you can drive yourself nuts and perhaps for your kids too.
Parenting tips can be nice. Do not immediately write them off. Try to see if you can use them and you may be surprised at what you can learn. It is amazing sometimes just how great parenting tips can be. Just do not let the people think that you are not a good parent because of your different approach to parenting. Parenting tips are given so that they can build up your skillset.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joseph_Then

How To Modify Parenting Techniques

MODIFY YOUR PARENTING TECHNIQUES

Our children grow up even before we realize it. It seems like just yesterday that they were crawling around trying to walk and suddenly they're in school, making friends, learning new things and becoming independent. It has been said that as soon as children are born, they are learning to let go. Accordingly, our strategies of parenting must change. Our parenting role must adapt the growth and change that our children go through, maturing and developing with them.
As a child grows, so does their temperament and personality which is unique to them. Without knowing, you would have developed parenting skills that cater to the individuality of your child. No two people are exactly and completely alike, and this applies for children as well. This should reflect in your parenting. Certain children are less sure of themselves and need more guidance while others are very fast at learning and might not require you to constantly guide them. We must according to the child's requirement and need, guide the child and give him or her encouragement to become more independent. While encouraging an independent attitude you must also teach them that it is not wrong to ask for help when required and we must praise and compliment their good deeds, traits and actions.
Our ears and eyes are the most reliable tools we posses in order to adjust and assess our parenting skills. We must keep open eyes and ears to see and hear what is happening in our children's lives and what they are trying to tell us. We must be available to our children whenever they need us as well as constantly urge them to be strong and independent. Sometimes it depends on the situation. A child may not necessarily require you to be directly involved in their academic progress but might require your support when it comes to social issues like making friends and talking to new people.
The bottom line is that your parenting skills should grow and mature as your child's does. Keep an open ear and eye to communicate openly and honestly with your children, and you will both mature into great individuals.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Abhishek_Agarwal

PARENTING TEENS

A CHALLENGING TASK

Parenting teens is a tough aspect of parenting and represents for many parents the ultimate test. This is the time when the rubber hits the road as a parent, as all of the challenges that were merely child's play during infancy or during the toddler stage are not full blown battlegrounds. The ideologies of teenage life and parental wisdom seem destined to clash, making parenting teens a veritable nightmare for many parents.

Teen parenting differs from child parenting in many ways. Child parenting tends to focus on some of the more simplistic issues in life. Teaching kids to read, while not necessarily easy, is one example of a simpler issue in raising kids.

Once that child grows up into a teenager, however, his or her hormones take over and raising teens becomes a full-time job that calls back memories of earlier days of waking in the middle of the night and worrying constantly. While it is known that no parent stops worrying about his or her child, it is also known that the sense of worry for a parent is no greater than when parenting teens.

Learning about parenting skills is a great way to get in touch with some of the information needed for raising teens. Parenting teens can be tough enough without education or information, but learning about raising a teenager can help alleviate some of that difficulty.

As parents band together, they become more confident in the skills that they can exercise. When a parent is faced with complicated issues dealing with parenting teens, he or she can now face those issues with confidence and their newly learned skills.

Many teen raising magazines offer some great advice on parenting teens. This way of learning about raising teens is a great way to get connected with some expert advice and learn more about some of the fundamentals of raising teens.

Through the help of parenting magazines, many parents find that raising their teen becomes a whole lot easier and eliminates a lot of the natural stress. Others find comfortable networks of support within these magazines, enabling them to face each day with renewed confidence that prepares them for the challenges ahead.

Parenting teens can take a hefty price from the hearts and souls of many a parent. Spending the night pacing the floor waiting for headlights, or wondering what on earth the teen is up to are common events when it comes to raising teens. The energy it takes can seem unfathomable, but it simply must be gathered if raising teens is to take place with any degree of success.

Regardless of the method, the love of a parent for a teen is unquestionable. This love, however, is often not enough to deal with some of the hurdles that a teen can face in his or her life. Without a solid network of help and support, parenting teens becomes a complicated job that causes endless hours of stress and concern for even the hardiest of parent.

Many parents decide to "go it alone" and take on the responsibilities of raising a teen by themselves. Thankfully, many more parents charged with parenting teens learn that the hardest job in the world cannot be done without the help, education and assistance that can be found virtually anywhere.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Selvon

GAINING PARENTING SKILLS


Frankly, some people's parenting skills truthfully need some corrections. I have witnessed so many scenes in public places that make me believe that some people should be tested before they are permitted to have children. There are lessons out there that teach basic parenting skills but not enough of people sign up in them. It is almost as if when you have a baby, they launch you home from the hospital devoid of the least clue as to what you are supposed to do with this child. Maybe a manual should be written and presented to parents when they depart the hospital. Any person can be a parent but not every person has the parenting skills essential to raise a child.
A lot of parents' parenting skills come from their own experiences in growing up. They pass down the identical ideals and traditions that their parents instilled in them. I have had two young parents in my office who were both parents before the age of 18. Neither of these persons had the first inkling as to what kind of parenting skills they should have. Interestingly enough, both of those individuals had been born to immature parents as well. Their young parents lacked the values, information and parenting skills to raise their children as well as they should have. One of those children had been mainly raised on the streets since their young parents could not have cared less what he was doing. It is a wonder he didn't end up in jail or dead. At the age of 16, a girl came to him to state that she was pregnant. All of a sudden,he was the one who was in need of some common sense and parenting skills.
My other challenged co-worker gave birth when she was 17. Her mother didn't even know that she was pregnant and had no concern in helping to raise her grandchild when she had hardly even cared to raise her own daughter. She is now under pressure to finish school and raise a child. While some parenting skills are simply common sense, some people actually lack that common sense. This is especially true if they never had parental figures who showed common sense for them. You've heard people say that children are a mirror image of their parents and there is a large amount of truth to that. Parenting skills are the same way. A parent will imitate the parenting skills that their parents showed to them. Of course, this does not hold true for every person. There are individuals who break out of the cycle and I have lots of praise for them.
However, what is important is that before becoming a parent, make sure you have the common sense parenting skills that are needed to raise your child. In no way be fearful to ask someone for guidance or answers. Your child will thank you for it. So will the rest of the world.

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Beth_Stevenson

PARENTING SKILL IS ESSENTIAL

It can be shocking to see how irresponsible some parents can be. I have observed many irresponsible acts in public that make me think that people should undergo testing and examinations before they are allowed to have offspring. Many people are not taking advantage of basic parenting skills classes that are offered.

Many young parents have no clue whatsoever about what to do with their infant that the hospital had just turned over to them. A manual about parenting should be given to parents when they leave the hospital. Anybody can be a parent but not everyone has the parenting skills required to raise a child properly.

Parenting skills are usually learned from the experience of parental care that those people themselves experienced. Parents pass down the same skills and values that they learned from their own parents to their children.

I have had two clients who asked for advice in my office who became parents before they reached the age of eighteen. Both of them had no practical parental knowledge and lacked the skills that are needed to be able to raise their children. I found out after a quick interview that both of them had been born to underage parents.

Their parents lacked the experience, knowledge, values, and parenting skills to raise them into well balanced individuals. One of my clients was practically raised on the streets because his parents were not paying enough attention to him.

It was fortunate that he did not end up in jail or in the cemetery. In his sixteenth year, a girl came up to him to announce that she was carrying his child. Now he's the one who needs to learn some parenting skills.

My other client gave birth when she was seventeen. Her mother was unaware that she was pregnant and had no desire to help raise a grandchild when she even barely cared to raise her own daughter. This individual is now struggling to balance her time between razing a child and school.

While some parenting skills are merely common sense, it’s a fact that some parents lack that common sense. This is common to people who have no parental figures that demonstrated common sense to them. There really is a great deal of truth to the saying that children are a reflection of their parents.

The same case is true with regards to parenting. A parent will reflect the parenting skills that were passed down to them. Fortunately, there are people who have overcome the problem of not being able to learn basic parenting from their parents.

It is important for young people to have common sense parenting skills needed to raise a child before they become parents. Inexperienced young parents should not hesitate to ask for help or advice. They should remember that it is for their child’s future.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Morgan_Hamilton

HOW TO IMPROVE PARENTING SKILLS


Raising a child is all about having good parenting skills and learning good parenting techniques. Without parenting skills, the duties of the average parent are reduced to simply struggling around with great difficulty. Of course, the realistic point of view of raising a child is that most parents enter their new role without a clue as to how to achieve their goals and are quickly looking for help.
So where does a parent go to learn good parenting skills? When all hope is lost, many parents find that they actually turn to their own parents for advice. Most parents end up raising their children in ways similar to how they were raised. While this aspect is often a sworn denial among teenage years, sung somewhat to the tune of "I will never be like you", the reality of raising a child often finds a different song of desperation is being sung in subsequent years.
When people are too proud to go to their parents for parenting advice, however, they often turn to other measures. Raising teenagers is typically one of the aspects of parenting that often drives people to drink, for one. Whether or not hitting the bottle is considered a significant or "good" parenting skill is still up for debate, but raising teenagers has been known to drive parents to some pretty unfortunate ends.
Through all of this desperation and despair, parenting skills are still possible. While a parent may have turned to drinking in lieu of asking his or her parents for advice, there are still possibilities for getting the skills necessary to overcome many problems. Raising a teenager is never easy. Many parents prefer almost any other stage in their child's life to teenage parenting, but no stage of raising a child is particularly without its pitfalls.
Parenting skills often can be found by taking a parenting course. Often dubbed as the "land of the lost", counseling for raising a child is actually a very popular course among parents of teenagers. With the reality of raising a teen heavy on the hearts of most of the parents at the parenting course, there is room to grieve and probably share a stiff drink later in the evening. In all seriousness, this network of support is often very helpful to achieving the ultimate goal of learning parenting skills that will help in the raising of a well-adjusted teenager.
With a certificate of success from a such a course in one hand and the phone numbers of other parents of teens in the other, the drive home to teenage children may finally be a walk that some parents feel they can take with more confidence.
Of course, raising a teenager is known for various curve balls and unexpected situations, but with some parenting skills and with a network of support from other parents of teens, it is possible to learn to deal with these situations with a greater sense of control.
Finding parenting skills to cope with situations involving teen children is the end goal of the parent. There is no age limit, in fact, that refers to when a parent stops being a parent, so the life of a parent will seem like an eternity. Raising a teen requires planning and parenting skills, making it one of the most demanding occupations on the planet today.

Parenting Skills


Parenting is a learning experience. There is no rule that once you become a parent you suddenly know everything. In fact, there is no guarantee you will have a clue what you are doing. Parenting is something you have to work at. You have to gather up advice, knowledge and parenting skills so you can use them in your parenting.
Parenting skills come from many places. You have to recognize that how your get parenting skills is not as important as getting them.
Trial and Error
The majority of parenting skills most parents have come from trial and error. A parent tries something, it does not work so they don't try it again or the other way around - they try something, it works so they keep doing it. Learning from mistakes is a part of life and a big part of parenting.
Usually trial and error ends up more funny than anything else. Common sense usually stops it form turning into something horrible or dangerous. Trail and error is a fine way to gain parenting skills and something every parent does.
Other Parents
Other parents are another big source of parenting skills. Most people parent according to how their parents parented them. We learn from what we know. We watch other parents and we learn form them. This is the natural way to learn parenting skills and how you will likely gain most of your parenting skills.
You may even talk to other parents and interact with their children before you even become a parent. You will get cautions and good advice that will help you get ready for parenting though other parents who have experience.
Classes and Research
It is becoming common for parents to attend parenting classes or read books as a way to gain parenting skills. Learning from professionals and experts is a great way to gain skills. They are tried and true methods that are backed with a trusted authority. You can rely on this advice and use it to build up your parenting skills.
Parenting skills are something you learn one way or another. You may even pick them up without ever even knowing it. Many parenting skills are a part of you naturally. They are things that you are born knowing or know form life experience. Others are something that you will instantly pick up once you become a parent. For example, you need no one to teach you the most important parenting skill - love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joseph_Then

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

DISCIPLINE

Be Clear, Be Firm, Be Consistent


Children learn best by being given clear, firm and consistent direction from parents who are clear, firm and consistent in their approach.

How to Discipline Children by Being Clear:

Firstly find and maintain clarity within yourself and then follow through on simple, clear instructions. Clarify for your self what being clear means.

It is about being plain, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean.

It isn't about maybe this or maybe that.

Often parents have no idea that they chop and change their minds within minutes. To become clear about your own patterns of behavior, observe yourself and ask for your partner's help in this.

"We are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes", is clear and direct. Follow this with, "Please help me tidy up your toys now" and it means just that. Be firm with yourself about this. It doesn't mean soon, or later, but now. I have seen parents give out this simple instruction, then become distracted themselves by a television program, conversation or magazine.

What their children observe is parents saying one thing and doing another and this gives a much distorted message. Multiplied over many times each day, is it any wonder that children cease to follow simple instructions?

How to Discipline Children by Being Firm:

Firstly find and maintain firmness for yourself and then follow through with firm clear directions in a firm, clear tone.

Clarify for your self what being firm means. To be firm is to be certain, definite, and determined. It is also being loving, kind and calm. It means saying no and meaning no, or saying yes and meaning yes and sticking to it. It's about now being now.

How often does your no become perhaps, later, maybe giving in, next time, soon, or alright then? This is a very common fault in how to discipline children and again it leads to numerous mixed messages for children.

Resolve within yourself and with your partner's help to ascertain how often you are both easily swayed into changing your decisions. Are you allowing your children to manipulate you? Imagine how simple your life will become when you are clear and firm within yourself. It is every child's right to KNOW they can trust their parent's boundaries.

So firstly, become firm with your own boundaries and then apply this to your parenting discipline. "It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes" is a clear direction. Now follow through on this. Giving the direction in a calm, clear, firm tone of voice helps your children to understand that you mean what you say. Being firm is about being in control of both yourself and the situation.

How to Discipline Children by Being Consistent:

Firstly find and maintain consistency for yourself and then follow through with a firm, clear, consistent approach. Clarify for yourself what being consistent means. To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and constant. These words immediately convey comfort don't they? Let's look at the opposite of being consistent. Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. That's definitely lacking in comfort and safety. So how do you want to be seen by your children?

To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines. Be aware that this is very true. It takes concentrated effort and time to change old habits to new ones, but if you maintain consistency, you will be very surprised how quickly new patterns of behavior are formed.

Parenting Discipline In Summary: With parenting discipline we are teaching our children how to have self control, self discipline and to become self reliant, so they are able to make good choices for themselves. The only way children can learn to do this is by being given the opportunities for this learning. This means not over protecting them, or doing everything for them, but maximizing their opportunities to learn through personal experience and observation, even when this means making mistakes.

Can you see the opportunities here to change some of your own patterns of behavior into superior ones? Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting. You learn to trust your own responses and your children are surrounded by your loving constancy.

This is the recipe for creating a happy, well adjusted family.
by: Helen Williams