PARENTING SKILLS

Humor Makes Parenting Easy

2009-04-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

Raising a child is not an easy task. It doesn't matter if you are a first-time parent or an experienced one. It still requires parental skills and a lot of hard work, psychology, and of course, creativity.

In the old days, parenting skills were learned from the extended family, such as the the parents of the couple having a new kid, the grandparents, aunts, and uncles. If these relatives don't live in the same house, they usually live within the vicinity, making them available to impart valuable wisdom to the next generation on the subjects of pregnancy, chilbirth, and raising children.

In today's modern world, however, having an extended family within the same state is a rarity. We now live in a transient society where everything is fast-paced and based in technology. Thanks to the Internet, information on parenting can be accessible at the click of a mouse. It's up to us to filter through that information based on our own standards of morality, sensibilities, and personalities to make them work for our own families.

Experts believe that when it comes to parenting, humor can help motivate children where more negative tactics fail. For example, instead of snapping, “Come here right now!”, you can humor the kid with “I'm going to get you, here I come!” Creating a playful scenario keeps the situation from becoming a battle of wills.

According to parenting guru Jane Nelsen, EdD, the author of dozens of books, including Positive Discipline and, with H. Stephen Glenn, Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World, humor is a key tool to successful discipline.

“Humor takes us to a whole different level of consciousness,” Nelsen said. It helps break the negative mood not just for children, but for grown-ups, as well. When moms or dads issue angry commands, kids of all ages tend to dig in their heels and resist where no one benefits in the end. Thus, humor helps parents get themselves out of a reactive state.

Creative parents make use of common distractions, such as tickling, chasing, or animating stuffed toys as strategies. For example, using a stuffed toy to say, “It's time to go to bed. Let's sleep” is more likely to generate a positive response than an attempt at resistance. Humor can help parents and kids find the lighter side to work together toward the shared goal.

By: Mark Christian Walters

2009-04-27T22:06:00.000-07:00

We all want to trust the people who are caring and providing for us. Your children's views on trust begin the moment they leave the safety of the womb and enter the vast, cold world around them.

You immediately begin caring for your newborn (as you continue to do for your other children), and thus your children learn to trust that mom and dad are there to meet their needs. Without that trust in others, children cannot grow into mature, self-confident and independent adults.

When working to foster such trust in your children, here are some points to keep in mind:

The importance of touch: scientific studies have shown that children who are not touched in a positive manner (hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc.) tend to develop attachment disorders. They cannot connect to others, or place their trust in caregivers. Thus, it's important to provide your children the comfort, security and trust of physical touch.

Positive reinforcement with words: verbally reaffirming for your children that you love them unconditionally helps to create a stable, safe environment where the children know they are loved and cared for. If children know they will still be loved, even when they make a mistake or misbehave (even if there are consequences, such as an unpleasant punishment), the lines of communication remain open. Your children know they can still come and talk to you without feeling they should hide whatever they've done wrong.

Establish routines and consistency: routines (meals, baths, bedtime, etc.) provide your household and your children with a sense of control. Being consistent and repeating those routines takes away some decision-making from your child, yet lets them feel a sense of control over their world through established expectations. It also establishes limits (bedtime, curfew and so on) and teaches children to make good decisions and abide by limits, otherwise there will be consequences, whether it's in your household or in life.

Of course, you, too, must be consistent. You must keep your word and be true to the rules of your household. Doing so will help establish and build trust in your children, and that in turn will help them move from the safe haven of trust and respect you've established in your family and apply those lessons to life.

By: Gareth Williams

Your Child Will Never Listen To You Unless You Follow This One Simple Tip

2009-04-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

Remember that Cindy Lauper song, "Girls Just Want to Have Fun?" Your kids - from preschool to teenagers - just want to have fun. Work just isn't on the minds of most kids, big or small. As adults, you and I know that work has to get done, and we know when it has to be done. Kids, not so much.

I can't count the number of times over the years when I'd tell one or both of my boys to do something, and they'd act like I wasn't even there. Before I learned this one simple tip, I'd talk and talk, threaten, cajole, sometimes even try bribery, just to get them to acknowledge my request and get their little butts in motion. I was the parent, after all. My word was law and I should be respected and obeyed, right?

Yes, of course. But I discovered, through trial and error, and some research, that there was a problem with my approach. Think of it this way: imagine that you're a light bulb on a dimmer switch, or a lamp that has several brightness settings that are clearly visible to your kids.

When you first start out with your request for your children, you're on the "low" setting. You're relatively calm, and the "low" setting indicates to your children that there's still plenty of time before you get to "high" and go ballistic. And, thus, they're free to "tune you out.

"In other words, your kids have learned -- thanks to your behaviour and your parenting approach -- that they can ignore your requests, and you'll continue to make pleas, threats, etc., until you're blue in the face. You're predictable, but not in a good way that produces the results you're looking for. In other words, the consequences of your children's lack of attentiveness and/or obedience are not predictable.

What needs to change? First, you do need to be predictable, but in a way that your children will see repeated over and over again. That's consistency. There's nothing wrong with the light bulb-dimmer switch analogy or approach. You simply have to implement it a little differently:

Low: you make the request calmly, being as specific as possible so there's no misunderstanding of what you're saying to them. For example, asking a question ("Joey, can you take out the garbage?") may seem specific as far as the task, but you're essentially leaving the request open to your child's interpretation and decision-making. Not necessarily bad for older children, once you've established positive behaviours. But, especially for younger children, try saying something specific and direct like this instead: "Joey, please take out the trash before dinner.

"Medium: If your child does not respond or continues to tune you out, this is a crucial fork in the road. This is where you "turn up the intensity of the light." Try saying just once: "If you don't do what I asked, there will be a consequence."Over the years, I've found that shouting or threatening is not the right approach. They still just tuned me out. Instead, I like to (still calmly) approach my boys, get up close so we're making eye contact face-to-face, and simply let them know that this is how this household (and life) works. Doing something you're not supposed to do, or not doing something you've been asked by a person in authority do, has consequences.

Again, remember that you don't stay in this stage, repeating, asking, begging, or threatening. While being reasonable, this is where you show your children a calm predictability again and again. And, when you see the desired results, then be sure to praise the proper behaviour. If not, then you move on to "high intensity.

"High: In this "high intensity" stage, you've reached the consequence, or punishment phase, since the request has been ignored. Again, there's likely to be drama on the part of your children when they discover the punishment, the consequence they've invoked. For younger children, this could be a "timeout" away from toys or TV. For older children, it could be loss of privileges, allowance, use of the car, etc.

Here, you'll probably want to keep it short and simple, without hysterics or punishment that doesn't "fit the crime." But, do try to be both consistent and predictable, and keep following this approach. You won't change all your kids' behaviours over night, but by being calm, consistent and predictable, you're on your way to less stress, less drama, and more compliant children.

By: Gareth Williams

Must Have Advice To Change A Child's Rude Behavior

2009-04-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

In today's world, it seems like manners and polite behaviour are disappearing. Especially among children. Culture and society have a lot to do with it. With the Internet, cell phones, music videos, sports, and television as prime culprits, our children definitely live in a more "get-yours, in-your-face" world than we did growing up. In other words, simple courtesy and politeness are sometimes viewed as signs of weakness, rather than normal behaviour.

So, what can we as parents do to instill phrases like "Yes, ma'am," and "Yes, sir," and "please" and "thank you" into the behaviour of our children?

As with so many of our parenting tips, it starts with parents serving as role models for the behaviour they want to see in their children. In the home and outside of it. That means that, beyond the words and phrases, parents must also role model the attitude of politeness.

Instead of a hectic pace, for example, on the roadways, in stores, in line at the theatre, take an approach that defers to others. Let that car pass you or cut in front of you, without any hostility on your part. Let someone go ahead of you in line, or take that last sale item, and be gracious when you do it. And, of course, demonstrate the accompanying words to further convey the desired attitude. "No, please, you have more items. You go first, sir."

In younger children, this behaviour is easier to instill. Remember, young children are "egocentric" and think primarily of themselves and their needs, which can lead to rude behaviour simply because they have not yet learned to take into account the needs and feelings of those around them. Start instilling this awareness and the desired polite behavior with some of the following words and activities:

- "In our family, we say 'please' and 'thank you.' And we treat each other and those around us with courtesy and respect."

- Praise children when they do behave politely. Discuss and role play it when they do not.

- Watch TV or read books together and discuss the behaviours you see, deciding together what is and isn't acceptable for your family.

- For older children, this can also work. But you might try adding in a bit of role-reversal, putting a rude child in the place of someone (teacher, friend, parent, sibling, etc.) he/she has mistreated. Then ask your child how he/she would like to be treated in a similar circumstance.

- Reinforce the desired attitude and behavior by associating with other parents who also value polite, respectful behaviour. And don't forget to compliment any of your child's friends who behave politely.

Lastly, don't forget that you never stop parenting, you never give up on role modeling and praising the right behaviour, you never stop being polite and respectful.

By: Gareth Williams

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Mending The Fence Between A Mom And Her Teenage Daughter

2009-04-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

Mending the Fence between a Mom and Her Teenage Daughter

Teenage behavior is as unpredictable as the bathrooms you have to use in gas stations, fast food restaurants, and rest stops along I-10. Some are pretty dog-gone nasty.

Why is it that when our girls are little, we put bows in their hair, but when they become teenagers, we find ourselves wanting to tie them around their necks? Or is that just me? I don't think so.

Do you ever think that her demonstration of mother love is far less than your demonstration of daughter love in your home? That is the mother and teenage daughter love dance. We often times have our toes stepped on. I hope you will find encouragement in knowing that we all go through that.

Mending the fence between a mother and daughter can begin anytime you choose. Teenage behavior and its unpredictable ups and downs will always be the case. This would be especially true if she suffers from O.D.D. (oppositional defiant disorder) or bipolar disorder. Even as unpredictable as our daughters can be, Mom can begin to be the predictable one in the relationship though. She can allow her daughter to rest in the knowledge that no matter what her mistakes have been, the love for her daughter will never change. That is so comforting to me. I love saying that to my children. Their eyes light up with a sense of security knowing that they are accepted just the way they are and they are not required to be perfect in order for me to love them. I may not love their behavior or actions, but I will always love them.

I also appreciate and seize each day as another opportunity to be a better person than the day before. Mending the fence between a mother and daughter requires the barriers of guilt, shame, and disappointment to be broken down. There are only so many times you can tell your daughter she messed up. Don't you think she knows that? Teaching her how to not make the same mistake again in love will yield greater results than continuously reminding her of her mistakes in anger. One has the ability to draw the person closer in while the other has the tendency to push away.

If you as a mother know there needs to be changes in the relationship between you and your daughter, but you have no clue how to go about making it work, join millions of mothers all over the world. You are not alone! We tend to resolve problems and conflicts the way our mothers taught us. Working through problems calmly and rationally is either going to feel natural or unnatural to you. Chances are if it comes naturally, your mother may be the one to thank.

Regardless of how you were raised, you have the power to connect with your daughter. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and be honest with her about them. Listen to her as she shares her strengths and weaknesses. Learn to keep each other more balanced and strive to rebuild a sturdy fence between the two of you. Broken fences are as useless as tits on a bore hog. They serve no purpose, so get out there and start mending yours today! She is absolutely worth it and so are you Mom.

By: Dr. Cheryl Guy

10 Parenting Tips To Stop Bribing Your Child

2009-04-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

Picture this scenario: A harried mom in a grocery store asks her two young boys to stop fighting. They continue…getting even more boisterous. After asking for the “umpteenth” time and having them ignore her, she starts to raise her voice, but stops herself, she knows she shouldn’t yell at them…additionally the kids won’t respond to yelling anyway. She reaches the end of her rope, is at her whit’s end, wants immediate results, so, “bribes the children.” Sound familiar?

Bribery gets immediate results. The behavior the parent is trying to curb stops… but to what future consequence.

In the long run “bribes” don’t work. Bribing children can have the opposite of the intended effect. Behavior can become more and more outrageous in the hopes of attaining better and better prizes. It goes to follow, if a small tussle in the grocery store is rewarded with a pack of gum, what will an out and out brawl get, a cell phone? Bribing creates a situation where the tail is wagging the dog. The child’s behavior begins to dictate the culture of the family. The family is happy when the child behaves well and in turmoil when the child misbehaves. The child gains power and the parents lose power.

It is more effective and healthier to tell the child that he or she will face a consequence if the unacceptable behavior continues and then follow-through with that consequence. “If you continue to do “X” behavior, we will not go to the park,” (or whatever fun thing the child is looking forward to in the near future). By giving a consequence that the child can actually experience, the child feels the consequence and in turn thinks twice before repeating the offense. Giving a consequence assures that the parent never attacks the essence of the child, which can be damaging to their psyche, just the behavioral offense.

Following through is a crucial step of this learning process. The child must know that the parent means what she says and always follows through.

On the other hand, when the child behaves, praise, praise, and praise! Let him know that it is marvelous and wonderful when he listens. For example a successful trip to the grocery store should be complimented. Consistency, follow-through and praise are essential in promoting and reinforcing good behavior and creating peace in the family.

Consistency, follow-through, and praise sound easy enough. Then why do parents so easily fall into the “bribery” trap?

One reason parents bribe is because raising kids and running a household are incredibly challenging and taxing. When half-way through folding a load of laundry the child reaches over and tosses the folded clothes across the room or when traveling up and down the aisles of the supermarket and the child starts grabbing food out of the cart and pitching it onto the floor, a parent can feel pushed to the brink. The mundane work has to be completed, it is understandable that parents bribe the child to quickly nix the bad behavior and finish the one of many task on their long daily list.

It is definitely tempting to bribe children to stop the disruptive behavior with a new toy or a snack. However, rewarding the negative behavior with a bribe ultimately leads the child back to that same unacceptable behavior, the next time with a vengeance.

It is really important to be your child’s advocate. Think about the tools your child needs to be equipped for teen years and adulthood. As hard as it is not to appease in the moment, consider the child’s future interests. The goal of a parent is to help mold a fantastic person and give the necessary tools a child needs to have a great life.

Here are ten tips for parents who want to find an alternative to “bribery”:

1. Immediately respond to the incident making sure that the child realizes that her behavior is unacceptable. Little kids need to be educated about right and wrong.

2. Use words the child will understand to explain that you are upset. Don’t assume she knows why you are unhappy. “Tammy, pulling the folded clothes out of the laundry basket is not okay. Mommy worked hard to fold those clothes. We have discussed this before. I am giving you a three minute time-out.”

3. Follow-through, act immediately, and do what you say you are going to do. Do not make idle threats.

4. Ask the child to apologize.

5. Reward the child with a huge hug and kiss and thank him for completing the time-out. Then let it go. It is not fair to your child to dwell on an incident after he has completed the time-out, or you have taken away a toy or privilege.

6. Do not feel guilty that you had to reprimand your child. It is your obligation to your child to teach her proper behavior. If you are calm and choose an appropriate consequence then you are being a great parent.

7. Be on the look out for good behavior. How refreshing it is for kids to have their positive behavior recognized…especially when they weren’t expecting it to be noticed.

8. Keep a tally of all of the good behavior over the course of the day and reward with an extra story at bedtime, an extra fun craft project, or a “tickle extravaganza.” But most importantly, let the child know how proud you are of him or her and how much you love him/her.

9. Talk your children up! Say, “I have the most wonderful kids! I love to be with them!” Kids do hear you when you talk about them, loud and clear. Make sure that the majority of what they hear makes them feel warm and nurtured, loved, respected and cherished.

10. Children want limits set. They feel out of control if you don’t make the boundaries clear, and that scares them. Children want you to be the parent. One of the most wonderful gifts that you can give to your kids is to teach them how to behave properly.Guiding children through the tough stages of childhood creates parenting opportunities for teaching lessons in manners and good behavior. By promoting peace, quiet and good behavior in the home, parents create a fertile environment that encourages growth and development.

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Simple Ways To Get Your Child To Sleep Through The Night

2009-04-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

During childhood, a good night's sleep is one of the most important things that a child can have - in fact, childhood experts agree that young children typically need between nine to ten hours a night in order to encourage proper body and development function. Yet if your child has trouble sleeping through the night, this can often seem like an impossible goal; however, you're not alone. Thanks to the popularity of stimulating technology in the home, like video games, computers and mp3 players, more and more children are finding it difficult to sleep through the night due to overstimulation. Add to the fact that many children are consuming diets full of sugar and carbs, and you have a recipe for a night full of tossing and turning!

Want to get your child to stop his or her sleepless nights and get the nine to ten hours that child experts recommend for ideal overall growth and health? Just follow these tips and your child will be off to dreamland in no time!

1. Limit the amount of time that your child spends in front of the computer or television set before bedtime. Just like with adults, children who spend the two hours up until their bedtime performing "overstimulating" activity can have difficulty falling asleep due to too much brain activity. Tell your child that there will be no video or computer games allowed before bedtime, and stick to this rule. You should notice a difference in your child's sleeping patterns almost immediate.

2. Have a consistent bedtime, even on the weekends. A child's body clock is a delicate thing, and can easily be disrupted if your child sleeps in too much on the weekends or goes to bed too late at night. Have your child go to bed and wake up at the same time everyday - if your child has exhibited particularly good behavior, award him or her by pushing back bedtime by an hour and a half; however don't go any more than this, or you'll disrupt your child's body clock!

3. Have your child's bedroom be used specifically for sleep only. If your child spends his or her time on the bed playing video or computer games, he or she will associate the bed with fun activities. Create an environment in the child's bedroom that encourages sleep - for example, don't have a computer in your child's bedroom, avoid leaving bright lights on and keep the bedroom at a cool temperature. The goal is to have your child realize that going to bed is equated to falling asleep, so try to prevent other activities from being done in your child's sleeping environment.

4. Avoid feeding your child a diet of mainly sugar and carbs. Sugar will cause your child to become hyperactive, which is especially detrimental towards getting a full night's sleep. Carbs are still necessary for a child's diet, but avoid feeding your son or daughter only carbs a few hours before bedtime, since this slowly burns off energy that will keep your child awake.

5. Get your child to exercise during the afternoon, as this will make his or her body tired just in time for bed. However, don't exercise within a few hours of bedtime, or else your child will still be on an energy high!

Getting your child to sleep through the night doesn't have to become a production. Just follow these simple tips for maximum effect, and your precious angel will soon be getting the nine to ten hours required for his or her healthy development.

By: Gareth Williams

Tips For A Temper Tantrum-free Child!

2009-04-14T01:10:00.000-07:00

Every parent has a horror story from when their child threw a particularly powerful temper tantrum. Perhaps it occurred in the middle of a crowded grocery store or during a movie; wherever the tantrum took place, nothing can be more frustrating than trying to turn your son or daughter from a screaming child into a sweet angel again. Why exactly do temper tantrums take place, anyways?

Many child experts agree that young children use temper tantrums for different reasons, depending on their age range. Those children that are in their infancy and early toddler years often have difficulty in expressing their exact feelings, like how hungry they are, if they're in pain or if they just need a nap; so instead, they vent their frustration through tears. Older children, having outgrown this particular developmental stage, use temper tantrums as a form of learned manipulation - since a parent has likely caved in to a temper tantrum in the past, the child now knows that he or she can have whatever they want after a few minutes of screaming.

So if you're ready to put an end to temper tantrums once and for all, just follow these easy and expert-approved steps!

1. When your child is in the midst of throwing a particularly loud temper tantrum, don't scold or discipline your child from afar. Instead, get down to eye level with your child and tell them that you'd like him or her to stop. By getting in your child's personal space, you become a more tangible force to be obeyed, rather than just a person in the distance. Continue doing this during temper tantrums and your child will soon learn that his or her behavior is unacceptable.

2. Try to distract your child by suggesting another activity. Often, temper tantrums are thrown when children are bored or frustrated with what they're doing at the present moment; by suggesting another activity, you'll take your child's mind off of his or her boredom and the temper tantrum altogether.

3. Identify why it is exactly that your child is throwing a temper tantrum. This is particularly useful to do, especially if your child is still in the developmental stage where he or she cannot properly express emotions and feelings. Is your child hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Figure out why your child is so upset and remedy the problem. However, one word of warning: do not apply this same logic to your child if he or she is throwing a tantrum due to wanting a toy or object: you'll only teach your child that he or she will be rewarded for bad behavior!

4. You may be able to avoid temper tantrums altogether if you get your child involved in day-to-day decision-making processes. For example, if your child usually throws a temper tantrum when getting dressed in the morning, ask him or her what clothes he'd like to wear for the day. Sure, your child may choose some interesting outfits, but many children throw tantrums when they're given no say. Relinquish a bit of control over the smaller stuff, and your child will be a sweet angel again.

As you can see, temper tantrums can happen for all sorts of reasons, so it's important to quickly identify what it is that set your child off. Basic emotions, like hunger, thirst and tiredness should be remedied; however, if you never want to experience a tantrum again, don't give in to other kinds of temper tantrums! Stay firm and consistent with your child, and he or she will soon realize that bad behavior will not be tolerated.

By: Gareth Williams

Parenting Skills - Top Tips and Guides

2009-04-12T02:50:00.000-07:00

Raising Your Children. Parents, make your home a Happy Home. Life does not have to be a battle with your children. Both you and your child are beginners in the Parent–Child relationship. Map out the best future possible for yourself and your children by learning from the best tips and advice available and avoid the child raising problems so many experience.

The Art of Raising Children. Raising your family in this modern world is not a simple matter for most people. There are so many issues involved that the average parent can be overwhelmed by the pressures of modern life and the unknown factors and emotional needs of children of which they have little or no experience.

Raising Children is an Art that has been developed over centuries and which has to be fine tuned by each generation to fit the times in which we live. The parents must adapt to changing times and circumstances, economic and social pressures that are far different from their own childhood days. There is much more at stake than just providing food and shelter.

Children are very discerning and at a very young age are well aware of emotional and physical disturbances in their environment. Pause for a moment and consider the difference you notice yourself in the home where there is constant conflict or a peaceful loving atmosphere.

The parents of their first born are beginners. They look for advice from experienced people not only on how to raise children but also on how they need to conduct themselves while doing so. Advice such as:-

• Parenting rules. Age old rules about Routine - Restraint – Responsibility - explaining and warnings.

• Potty training. How and what to do for success. Rewards – Games – Praise –Potty parties and more.

• Separation Anxiety. Don’t just disappear – Play peek-a-boo – Talk to them even when not in the room – Let them know you’re there.

• How toddlers work. They work on impulse – They don’t have great memories – They want it now – They want your love and attention – They don’t have patience – They don’t have fear – They don’t understand choices.

• Simple parenting Try new things – Teach them to love learning – Teach them fun Skills. things – Teach them to smile – Teach them how to make friends -

These tips and guides are but a few of many types of information all parents and children can benefit from. You owe it to yourself and your children to provide a balanced, well organized parenting program which will provide your child with the best chance in life. You will also benefit from the peace and harmony in the home and the pride you will experience as your child progresses through life.

Give your child the best chance in life by making a study of proven ways to assist in their upbringing. Give yourself the best chance of providing a happy caring and peaceful environment for all your family.

About The Author
Parenting Skills – Top Tips and Advice. Written by Walter Lobwein.

How To Get Your Child Excited For School

2009-04-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

There are some children who absolutely love going to school. Whether it's the constant interaction with friends, the classes or the after-school activities, they hardly ever complain about having to get up in the mornings - and their parents are the lucky ones!

If your child is less than thrilled with the prospect of starting another year at school - or just puts up a fight every weekday morning - then you may feel at a loss as to how to get them excited for school. Sure, you could tell them how great getting an education is, or how much you miss school yourself - but your opinions are likely influenced by hindsight, whereas your child will benefit from something more tangible.

So how exactly do you get your child excited for school short of becoming his or her own personal cheerleading squad? Here are some sneaky tricks and tips that will have your child excited to wake up on weekday mornings!

First, be sure that you understand exactly why your child isn't excited about school. Is there any reason in particular that he or she is unenthusiastic? For example, is your child being bullied? Is there a teacher who your child doesn't like? Or do the school subjects not appeal to him or her? By finding the root cause of your child's apathy, you're more likely to successfully address these concerns and get your kid motivated to get on that school bus every morning. Be sure to sit your child down and ask more than just surface questions about school: quiz them on their favourite or least favourite subjects, friends and teachers.

If your child is suffering from bullying, you'll need to get the school involved in order to make the classroom a safer and more supportive environment. Talk to school administrators and demand a zero-tolerance policy on bullying; thanks to the national attention that's been paid to problems that arise with bullying, you're likely to be successful.

However, if it's the academics that really turn your child off, try to tease out what exactly your child dislikes about his or her classes. Is the work too hard? If so, enroll your child in tutoring and other programs that will teach him or her how to study successfully. On the other hand, are the classes too boring? If that's the case, find out if your school has any programmes for the academically gifted or advanced classes that can be taken after school. Ask your teacher if he or she can assign intellectually challenging homework to your child in order to keep things interesting.

Additionally, play up your child's favourite hobbies and put them in context of school. Does your child enjoy acting, singing or playing sports? Then get them enrolled in an after-school activity pronto! You'll be amazed at how much your child will look forward to going to school if he or she knows that the day will end doing something extremely enjoyable. Does your child enjoy art or writing? Lots of schools now offer after-school classes on painting, drawing and creative writing. If your school doesn't, then find one in your area that does - the point is to get your child to associate a school day with enjoyable activities, no matter what school it's held at!

Sometimes, your child might say that he or she hates school just because "everyone else does". However, be sure to highlight all of the great things about school whenever you're faced with this comment - soon, your child will associate school with fun, and will look forward to the weekdays.

By: Gareth Williams

Why It Is So Important To Recognize Your Child's Hidden Talents

2009-04-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Too soon to start thinking about what your children will do in the world to support themselves? Given the current state of the economy, and the changes we may be seeing in the workforce and the world as a result, it's not too early to be thinking about your children's future.

Once again, I'll reference my two boys, since they're very different in terms of talent and temperament. The older of my boys is away at a major university on a track scholarship. He also had good enough grades and was enough of an entrepreneur in high school that he probably would've gotten an academic scholarship, too, had it not been for his sports acumen.

My younger son is a different story. While my older boy is ambitious - a classic "self-starter" and entrepreneur - my younger son seems to lack any motivation or desire to excel. He struggles to get even a C on his report card, and he's not very interested in business or college.

Had he not discovered his talent and his focus in life, he might have wandered aimlessly about. But he is good at something, and I'm glad I helped him find it and am doing all I can to be supportive.

He plays guitar. I know, I know. A musician? A rock 'n roller? A band? What kind of career path is that?

Well, it's certainly not my career path. And it's probably not the path most parents would choose for their children. It is, however, his path, his talent, his love. And I'm every bit as proud of him as I am of my older son in college. My younger son and his band played their first live performance recently, and the joy and passion he had was evident. He even wrote the song they performed.

That's the point of this parenting tip and I'll illustrate it with a question: will it be enough for you if your child is happy and fulfilled in his life and career, or would you prefer that you're happy and fulfilled by what he's doing? Yes, putting "Dr." in front of your child's name, or "Esquire" after it might make you feel fulfilled, but wouldn't you rather they found their own calling, their own career, their own happiness and passion in life?

To help them along that path, start early if possible, by helping them try different things and explore different talents and paths without pushing any of them. Just let them play, expose them to as many different activities and choices as possible, then simply support and encourage them along the way.

They may try and fail at many of them, but at least you know that you allowed them to find their talent and their own passion in life. And you got to be a part of it.

By: Gareth Williams

Top Tips On Becoming A Great Mother

2009-04-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

Motherhood can be one of the most beautiful experiences that a woman can have in her entire life - and it can also be one of the most stressful! After all, there are so many different things that can happen when you raise children: what if one of them is sick? What if they have discipline problems? What if they think you're a poor mother? When you're about to become a mother - or are even in the midst of being a mother - it's hard to have perspective on how good of a job you're doing in raising your children.

But no matter what you think about yourself as a mother, chances are, you're already doing a terrific job. No one has written the definitive book on being a perfect mother; in fact, hundreds of books a year are published on how to be the perfect parent, so it's pretty obvious that no one has stumbled onto the magic formula yet! Here's the secret: motherhood isn't something that you can be "perfect" at. Rather, all you can do is try your best and to have a sense of humor about scenarios that you may encounter while raising your children.

In fact, a sense of humor is one of the greatest tools that you have at your disposal when raising children. It's easy to get caught up in the stresses of everyday life - after all, between your job, running a household and maintaining your relationship with your partner, keeping your child happy and healthy can seem like a daunting task! But it's important to remember that a sense of humor will take the anxiety and edge out of the stress that permeates into life as a mother. So what if your child painted on the bathroom walls? So what if your child decided to raid your makeup and decorate his or her face? Take a deep breath, count to ten and laugh - this will keep everything in perspective.

Another key to being a great mother is to be a little creative. Children have an uncanny ability of throwing the most unexpected scenarios your way, and at times when it's the most inconvenient. Try not to get too upset, especially with younger children, as unpredictability goes hand in hand with raising children. Spare yourself some stress and have a back-up plan for wherever you go - for example, if you travel with your child in the car often, have prepackaged snacks and games in the car at all times. That way, when your child gets cranky or is on the midst of throwing a temper tantrum, you'll be able to adapt to his or her behavior right away.

Being a great mother also means becoming more flexible in your own day-to-day schedule. Sure, when you were pregnant, it may have been easy to plan everything, even your own delivery, right down to a tee - but now that you're raising children, following a strict itinerary is not only unrealistic; it can be downright impossible! Understand that there are some things that, as a mother, are going to be out of your control - therefore, if you're the type of person that enjoys having everything in its place just so, you'll need to try to adapt as much as possible to the unpredictability that occurs when raising children. That way, when your child surprises you with a new scenario that you've never encountered before, you'll be able to adapt with less stress and anxiety - and this key to being the best mother that you can be!

By: Gareth Williams

Investing In Your Grandchildren Is Not Expensive

2009-04-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

I believe the greatest investments we can make while we are alive are to invest in our children, or grandchildren. By invest I am not talking about money, although there is nothing wrong with money. We all enjoy buying them things like kids bedding, or something else for their rooms. What I am talking about is investing your time and just having fun with your grandchildren.

I remember one day when my grandson and I were just going for a ride. He was about three years old. He said Papa can we go to look at the “train wagons”? It took me a second or two to realize that he wanted to go to see the train boxcars. So we did just that. On the way we passed an Ostrich farm. He said “wow look at that bird”. I laughed as I turned the car around so I could park where he could get a better look. Finally I said to him, “what kind of bird is that”? He thought for awhile and responded “its an Ooo… Ooo… Oyster”. These are the kind of experiences create memories that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. Kids are so great. It is fun to watch their minds work as they are trying to make sense out of their surroundings. Children are industrious, intelligent and innocent. These early years are the best time to influence your grandchildren.

There are so many things you can do with your grandchildren. How about reading them a story? As a child I can remember story time as one of my favorite things. My father had a great sense of humor. He would like to tell us stories, but he would like to put a twist on them. For instance instead of the “Three Little Pigs” he would tell the story of the “Three Little Sows”. There were times that his children would get into heated debates with their teachers on how exactly the story really goes. Again this creates memories that will last as long as we live. This could not have happened without the parent spending or investing time into their children. So remember, read to them. Children at this age really love it, especially if the story is lively and easily understood. You can make going to the library a special event. Do it often with your grandchildren.

Another one of my favorite times is taking a long walk with kids. It is great to let them explore, bring the dog along. Kids and dogs just seem to go together. I especially like to walk in wooded areas. It is great fun to discover any kind of wild life. This is an opportunity for teaching kids things like being kind to animals as well as insects. Teach them that we are going into the animals’ home and we should be respectful to them. Teach them that animals have a right to be there. It is where they live. Teach them the value of bugs, worms, insects, plants, and anything and everything we come across. Again these are times that become valuable as memories, both to the grandparents and also to the grandchildren.

Go to the zoo. Let them see all the animals, and let them pet them if that's allowed. There's nothing like getting up close the animals they've seen in books.

By: dlmiller1054
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Easy Way To Potty Train Your Child

2009-04-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

Children have the ability to learn new things all on their own. But many things they will have to learn from their parents. Because of this it is our responsibility to make sure that we teach them what is important and we do it properly. One of the most challenging things to teach a toddler is how to utilise “the potty”.

Unlike the myths not all parents are born with the normal intuition to understand just what to do with their children and how to teach them everything they need to know. Potty Training is one area that numerous of us struggle with. That is why we turn to every book and other parents to get their advice.

Before you can set about to train your child they need to be able to point to you when they have wet or soiled their diaper. SeveralOther kids will skip over this process and will start out to tell you when they want to use the potty. You also should ensure that you can devote at least three days or more where you and your child can work together. Don’t be disheartened if it takes a longer time for them to learn. Many children will not learn till they are three.

To make potty training somewhat simpler on your toddler you will need to allow them to see how they should use the toilet. This implies that you should show them how it is used. Let them watch you using the potty and maybe even teach them how to flush the toilet.

Before you start to instruct them how they should use the potty you should set a peculiar potty training seat where your toddler plays and permit them to familiarise themselves with it and learn how to sit on it. Let them acknowledge that this is their chair and they can sit on it when they want. Allow For them to sit on it for many days or weeks while wearing their clothes before you teach them how to sit on it without their pants and diaper.

Once your child understands what the potty is for and it is time to teach them how to use it. During this time your child will need to be wearing underwear and loose pants that can come off easily and quickly. Having them wear underclothes that has a particular design will make them more keen to wanting to put it on.

When your child points to you that it is time for them to use the bathroom or when you observe them stop what they are doing - this is normally an indication that they are about to use the bathroom. This is the time to carry them to the potty. Place them on the potty training seat and wait patiently for them to finish.

Sit next to your child while they are on the potty and speak to them. Encourage them to utilize it and maybe even read them their favorite book. Ensure that you do not discipline them if they don’t use it every time. Rather praise them when they have and if they have not let them know that it is ok.

By: Naomi West
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Bed Wetting Boys - Are You Concerned?

2009-04-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

Many parents worry when their boy continues bed wetting beyond the age when many other children are dry at night, but in many cases there is no need to be alarmed. Many children start becoming dry at about 3 years, but about 10% are still bed wetting at 5 years, with it being twice as common with boys. If a boy is still bed wetting at 6 years then a doctor should be consulted to ensure there is not a physical problem.

There are a number of possible reasons why a boy is bed wetting. A small child has to learn to recognise the need to use the bathroom. A young baby has no control over their bladder, but as they develop and mature, the brain begins to recognise and control the need to empty the bladder. If the bladder is small or weak, bed wetting may occur, but as the child grows older, training will normally overcome this. Some children are heavy sleepers and are unaware that they need to urinate.

Some parents are concerned that the problem may be due to anxiety. This is not normally the case, although many, normally dry children will wet the bed at times of stress such as starting school or parents divorcing.. This is a normal reaction and should only cause concern if it continues. No parent should get angry about bed wetting as this could cause anxiety.

It is generally believed that bed wetting may be genetic. If one parent was a bed wetter as a child, there is an increased risk that their child will also bed wet. If both parents were sufferers, the risk increases greatly.

If you have any concerns at all you should consult your doctor to find out whether treatment is necessary. You should always seek help if a child who has been dry suddenly lapses.

This article is for information only and the author accepts no liability for its contents. A doctor should always be consulted before undertaking any treatment and no liability is accepted for any action taken.The article may be used as long as the content remains unaltered and a working hyperlink given to the author's site.

By: Margaret Tye
Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com

Good Parenting Can Change The World

2009-03-02T05:14:00.001-08:00

Good parenting skills and techniques have great potential to change the world in a positive way. In the craziness of everyday life such as work, family, health, house payments, bills, etc. it can be challenge to be a great parent and do all that is required of you. Being a good parent is not something people are born with the instinct to do. It is a skill like any other that is learned and improves with experience. With life keeping us busy, we need to always be looking for ways to fine tune and improve our parenting skills.

Parenting IS A Priority.If you are raising children then you need to make parenting the priority. Many parents think it is more important to be to be their children’s friend than it is to be their parent. Let me be very clear on this point. Your children will have friends. They NEED a parent. It is ok to be friends with your child but you must always know when the parent needs to be present.

Be a Role Model

Children learn by observing role models. You need to realize that YOU are their role model. You need to set good examples for your child. I always find it funny how some parent will lecture their kids on important issues like smoking and drugs while smoking right in front of their children. Sorry, the adages do as I say, not as I do just doesn’t cut it in parenting. Be the role model.Children Need Boundaries

Children MUST have boundaries. They need to clearly understand what the boundaries are and what the consequences are if they cross those boundaries. If your child breaks a rule, they need a consequence for that action. The consequence needs to be appropriate for the situation and consistent. Lack of follow through or consistency in consequences is one of the most common and the biggest mistake many parents make. It is much easier to maintain control if you don’t give it away!

In two parent homes BOTH parents must follow the same rules of engagement. Children are smart! They will learn to exploit any inconsistencies between parents. In Single parent homes make sure that any other person who might interact with your children is on the same page as you and doesn’t counteract your rules.

This is a hard one folks. In serious cases, don’t confront them when you are angry. Once you “loose it” and start yelling, you’ve lost the battle. It is much better to send them to their room until you cool down. This will also give you time to think about what you will say before you address the issue. There was more than one occasion when I grounded one of my daughters to their room for the rest of their lives! Do you think they believed me?

Quality Family Time is ImportantMake time for family time. Family dinner is one of the best places for talking about your day and growing your relationship with your child. Shut off the TV or radio and listen to what they have to say. Building open honest communication with your children is important. You want them to be able and willing to come to you when they have questions or are faced with challenges that could have a profound affect on their life IF they make the wrong decision. This trust and openness is built over time by having good communication.

By: BR Wilson

2009-03-02T05:14:00.000-08:00

Good parents have great potential to change the world in a positive way. In the craziness of everyday life such as work, family, health, house payments, bills, etc. it can be challenge to be a great parent and do all that is required of you. Being a good parent is not something people are born with the instinct to do. It is a skill like any other that is learned and improves with experience. With life keeping us busy, we need to always be looking for ways to fine tune and improve our parenting skills.

Parenting IS A PriorityIf you are raising children then you need to make parenting the priority. Many parents think it is more important to be to be their children’s friend than it is to be their parent. Let me be very clear on this point. Your children will have friends. They NEED a parent. It is ok to be friends with your child but you must always know when the parent needs to be present.

Be a Role Model

Children Need BoundariesChildren MUST have boundaries. They need to clearly understand what the boundaries are and what the consequences are if they cross those boundaries. If your child breaks a rule, they need a consequence for that action. The consequence needs to be appropriate for the situation and consistent. Lack of follow through or consistency in consequences is one of the most common and the biggest mistake many parents make. It is much easier to maintain control if you don’t give it away!In two parent homes BOTH parents must follow the same rules of engagement.

Children are smart! They will learn to exploit any inconsistencies between parents. In Single parent homes make sure that any other person who might interact with your children is on the same page as you and doesn’t counteract your rules.This is a hard one folks. In serious cases, don’t confront them when you are angry. Once you “loose it” and start yelling, you’ve lost the battle. It is much better to send them to their room until you cool down. This will also give you time to think about what you will say before you address the issue. There was more than one occasion when I grounded one of my daughters to their room for the rest of their lives! Do you think they believed me?

By: BR Wilson

PARENTING SKILLS AND RECESSION

2009-02-22T05:14:00.000-08:00

In fact, a lot of experts' parenting advice says it is a good idea to be honest with your children about money - without going overboard. For instance, you could explain that they may have to wait longer to get that expensive toy because - like a lot of other families - you have had to deal with a lot of extra costs this year.

The key is to be open with the little ones without being scary. Make sure you are explaining things at an age-appropriate level and reassure them soundly that they should not be worried.Talking to your kids about financial struggles can be stressful, but there are also opportunities to use your parenting skills to yield some positive results.For example, has there ever been a better time to show your children - firsthand - that sound economic behavior such as spending within your means and saving for the future has benefit? And that delayed gratification can actually be rewarding?There is more to be cheerful about.

Many have suggested that as a result of the recession, hands-on parenting skills will become the norm, with families spending more time together and enjoying inexpensive and creative activities.Libraries, for example, have reported growing numbers of families using their services, particularly to attend story time and to check out DVDs and books.And in a holiday season in which retail sales are dismal at best, sales of family-centered video games - such as those for the

Nintendo Wii platform - are managing to grow, while traditional board games remain resilient.It just goes to show that with good parenting skills and the right attitude, your family can grow strong enough to withstand any financial storm.

By: Sarah Beldo

DOMESTIC VOILENCE

2009-02-22T05:00:00.000-08:00

Most children will experience problems if they live in a violent home and witness a parent being abused. Children who witness abuse are more inclined to have behavior and emotional problems. Some children will develop psychosomatic disorders. This may include bed-wetting, school problems, night terrors, stuttering, excessive fear and crying.

Children may experience depression, suicidal behaviors and phobias if they are kept in a violent household.Older children may blame themselves for the abuse a parent receives. Older children may even step into the abuse to direct the attention onto themselves and off of the battered parent. There is a great risk that children who witness abuse may grow up thinking that violence is the only means to resolve emotional and relationship conflicts. Boys who grow up in an abusive home are more likely to batter their future partners versus boys who grow up in a nonviolent home.

Children who have witnessed abuse to a parent are also more likely to drink alcohol and abuse drugs.Children who live in a domestically violent home will suffer some form of neglect, be it physical or emotional. It isn’t always just the mother who is abused, but the children may be abused as well. Many adults who were abused when they were children report that witnessing the abuse to their mother was harder for them to deal with then the abuse they personally received.

Help for Battered Women:If you are a victim of domestic violence, help is available. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They will direct you to places in your area where you can seek help. Please get yourself and your dear children to safety: YOU ARE LOVED.
By: Arthor Pens

MOM ! DONT BE OVER PROTECTIVE

2009-02-22T04:54:00.000-08:00

I’ve seen moms say that they won’t let their children ride a public bus. I believe at age 13 they should be allowed to figure out to take the bus and if need be, take the bus with an adult their first time. For those saying, “Oh but that’s too young,” when do you think they might be ready to take this step?I’ve seen moms who really have strong influence over who their children choose to be friends with.

The moms really manipulate the situation so their child can not play with the other child. While you as an adult may see something your child does not yet see, how will your child learn to see and recognize these things if you continue to make friend choices for him/her? If your child is 8 and you’re making these choices, at what age do you believe your child can make their own friend choices? As a teen there are a lot more things to consider and look for when choosing friends.

If your child has not developed this skill earlier, they’re bound to make some poor choices as a teen.I really once again want to stress I do understand the dangers out there. I just also know that if we don’t let out children make choices and realize the consequences of those choices, they never learn the skills.What about going out with friends? Can your child go out on a school night? It’s ok to say no up to a point. At what age do you let them learn that going out on a school night and not getting enough sleep will result in poor concentration and poor performance the following day?

I can remember getting a phone call from another mom when my daughter was about 6. My daughter had done something to upset her child. While I agree 100% that my daughter was wrong, I also believe that the other child would have done much better to have her mom coach her on how to problem solve instead of her mother calling me. The only time I got involved was when a boy tried to light my daughter’s hair on fire. This was a situation that required adult intervention.

If we don’t allow our children to work on relationship problems at age 6, how will they prepare for adulthood and all of their future relationships?As I’ve stated, I have two kids of my own. I know how much there is to worry about. I also know that I want both of my kids to develop the skills and confidence to become independent, self sufficient adults.

By: Audrey Okaneko

AVOID COMPARING SIBLINGS

2009-02-22T04:42:00.000-08:00

When the comparison is with a sibling, that answer is no longer valid. At one time or another both of my kids have said to me “but you let her do it” or “why doesn’t she have to do it?”The answer is actually very simple. No two children are the same. Each of our children is unique in many different ways. They each have different strengths and weaknesses.

They each have different perceptions and they each have their own unique personality. Each of these will play into our decisions as parents.While it might not seem fair tonight that one child has to do the dishes while the other child does not, the word “fair” is very open to interpretation. The child doing the dishes might have just returned from a weekend get away that mom and dad helped finance. Or the child not doing the dishes might have cleaned the bathroom the day before.

Fair can not happen at equal times for all children. As a parent, if you don’t want your kids to compare themselves to each other, you also need to refrain from making comparisons between your children. One child might get better grades than the other. One child might be better at sports than the other. One child might have more artistic ability than that other. Each child is unique. Each will have those things they excel at and those things they need some assistance with. Offer praise to each child on that child’s personal accomplishments and achievements.

When discipline is necessary, don’t share this information with anyone but the child receiving the discipline. When you speak of discipline in front of other children, it can cause bad feelings amongst the siblings. Remember each of your children is absolutely unique. Remind them of this when they want to compare themselves to their siblings.

By: Audrey Okaneko

PARENTING WORKSHOPS

2009-02-21T17:49:00.000-08:00

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs and many parents need help in managing their family life. Parenting workshops offer parents the opportunity to learn new strategies and concepts about parenting that they can use in their everyday family life.

Parenting workshops, like any other workshop, include different sessions on different topics such building strong relationships between children and parent, between siblings or between children; early childhood parenting such as dealing with children’s fears, helping parents adjust with separation, or starting school.

Many parenting workshops also help parents deal with children who have learning and/or emotional difficulties. These workshops are especially helpful because parenting children with special needs can be twice as hard so many need all the help they can get to manage their family life well.

Parents of adolescents and teenagers also experience a greater deal of frustration and stress because, as we know, children at this age bracket tend to distance themselves from parents, question authority, and are naturally curious and impulsive. Parenting workshops that help parenting teenagers educate parents to help them understand what their teens are going through and how to best approach or communicate with them.

Families who are going through a conflict such as separation or divorce can also get counseling through parenting workshops as well as education about children’s right and family law. Moreover, parenting workshops not only increase parents’ knowledge and skills on raising their children but at the same time develop confidence in them as parents and reduce everyday stress.

Aside from discussions and presentations on important parenting issues, parenting workshops feature videos and other media resources on a variety of parenting topics. Many parenting workshops are free but there are also groups that organize workshops for a fee and by request, customized to the needs of a specific group, for instance, single parents.

Generally, parenting workshops are conducted once a week for four to six weeks, depending on the organizer. If there is no one else to look after the child while the parent or parents attend the workshop, they can look for those that offer child-minding services.

Before attending parenting workshops, you can check the specific content of each session to make sure they will be useful to you and also check the qualifications of the people providing the workshop. The organization should be composed of qualified professionals who are well-trained in family and/or child development and, ideally, parents themselves.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Milos_Pesic

PARENTING - A LASTING CAREER

2009-02-02T03:19:00.000-08:00

You need not attend any interviews and fill no application forms, though it is one of the most demanding and rewarding careers. Without the benefit of selection criteria, we discover that to be good parents, we need many skills and abilities that we do not learn at school. Some people hope that these skills will show up in the delivery room together with their first born. Others say you either have them or you don't. I believe that the magic of pregnancy and childbirth is not enough to make us parents and we can and should develop these skills over time.

If we had to advertise for a parenting position, the job description would include all of the following:

Nurse
Cleaner
Teacher
Financial Controller
Cook
Psychologist
Taxi driver

If you review your life, you will discover that school, where you spent many valuable years, did not prepare you for your most valuable career in life - being a parent. However, your parents either by being a positive role model ora negative role model contributed the most to your parenting abilities (or disabilities). It would not be fair to say that school contributed nothing to my becoming the parent I am today. My food studies teacher was very strict about cleaning after ourselves and I had way too many teachers that taught me in great details how a teacher should never be, but I am not sure I needed 12 years for that.

Rules of being a good parent are not engraved in stone but have evolved over time with different cultural, social and emotional needs. Unfortunately, the place where we spend most of our learning years is not preparing us well. Due to this, many parents and their kids face difficulties with their health, relationships and finance.

If you ever think of your teen as one day becoming a parent, remember that you are the most valuable contributor to their future success as a parent.
Be the parent you want your kids to be!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ronit_Baras

10 GOLDEN TIPS FOR SINGLE PARENTS

2009-01-31T07:00:00.000-08:00

Parenting is virtually a difficult, challenging, and rewarding job in your path towards life. However, single parenting is the most difficult process as most of the responsibility of bringing up a child relies on a single person. To perform the duty of a mother and a father can be a frustrating, uncontrollable and exhausting task. Here is some valuable advice offered by professionals to help single parents in efficiently raising their child.

1. Give top priority to your child: Concentrate more on your child by giving him the utmost priority. Try to participate effectively in every action of your child and make strong bond with love, care and attention. You may sometimes need to sacrifice more by giving priority to your children. However, this act can give you more happiness and honor in the life ahead. Take care of your personal welfare and effectually maintain this difficult task and you can inevitably mold your child in to a successful human being.

2. Steady and positive discipline formation: Being single by fate can bring down your confidence level. However, feel strong and emphasize discipline in your life in a self-assured and non-emotional mode. Make sure to implement the disciplinary actions on your child and ensure that he/she follows it in a steady and positive way.

3. Proper and effective communication: An effective single parent needs to implement open and proper communication in the family. Be open your children and communicate with them in the most caring way. Ask them about their school, their activities and friends. Try to understand their likes and dislikes through effective communication. Concentrate your entire energy on assuring that your beloved feels comfortable and stress free while communicating to you.

4. Be honest and explain your emotions: A sudden expression of anger in any case, may evolve questions in the minds of your child. So be honest and explain the state of anger and the reasons. Losing once temper is a common phenomenon but the presence of you child at that instance can be more dangerous. Accept the reality, explain that to your kid and ensure him that you will

adopt better ways to deal with your temper.

5. Organize the household and finances: A thriving single parent takes care of the needs of the family in a useful manner. Try to maintain a calendar and make sure you use your source of income efficiently and effectively. It is very important for a single parent to be successfully organized in the case of finances and fulfilling the needs of the child. Always pre-plan your activities to avoid messing up at the last moment. Give responsibilities to your child considering their age group. This will help to develop them into responsible people in life.

6. Maintain good habits: Try to implement good habits in daily routines. Maintain proper habits with bedtime routines as well as study activities. This helps to acquire stability, organization and good manners in your child.

7. Positive relation with relatives (especially the separated parent):Maintain co-operation and positive association with the child’s separated parent as much as feasible. Encourage the child to be with the other person and make them both involved in and influence each other's state of being. Even though you may possess a feeling of hatred towards the separated parent, try to co-operate considering your child's benefit. However, if the person poses a threat to the child, remember that the child's safety comes first.

8. Positive perception: You are definitely assigned with challenging tasks as single parenting but always maintain a positive perception towards life. Your perception and outlook may influence your child's attitude. If you possess a positive outlook and perception in a difficult situation, your kid may also adopt this positive perspective. This may even help them to survive and flourish in difficult stages of their life.

9. Spend more time with your child: With single parenting, it is more important for you to spend more time with your child and to be involved in your activities. Indulge in pleasurable activities such as playing, gardening, and outings. This shared time and understanding helps to develop a strong bond with you and your child. This may even erase all the worries of the child associated with the separation of his other parent. This time can be very relaxing and rewarding for the both of you.

10. Appreciate your child: Let your child understand your love and appreciation. Appreciate your child in a proper way and show off your love, care and appreciation, although it is evident. Too many parents spend all their energy correcting their child. Do not forget to praise you child when he does well. They eat it up.Being a single mother or father and simultaneously performing the duties of both the parents, to bring up your child is no more a difficult task. The advice of professionals and your implementation of that advice can help you transform the tasks of single parenting into pleasurable ones.

By: Jonnie Blaylock

PARENTING TIPS

2009-01-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

PARENTING TIPS

Many parents love to giving various parenting tips. If you are a parent, you may have encountered a number of them. We have to appreciate their advice as it is based on their experience and experience do count in any advises. However, you may be confused as you could be overloaded with tons of tips and advises. The key here is to know which one is suitable for you and which one may not be suitable.

Determining Usefulness

The first step is to determine if you can or want to use a tip. Obviously, you will ruin into tips that you just do not agree with or feel are just not for you. Those you can disregard. However, more often you will likely be unsure if a tip is useful. Try the following to see if those tips are useful for you:

- Ask yourself if it seem reasonable.

- Determine is you would actually do this.

- Think about how it would work for you and your kids.
If you are still not sure if the tip is good, what you can do it give it a try and see the result.

Trial and Error

As mentioned, the next thing to do is try the tips out. See if they do work. If something doesn't work then let it go. If that tip works for your kids, put it in your list of skills.
Sometimes you can not tell if something will work unless you give it a try and there is nothing wrong with that.

Ways to Use Them

Parenting tips come in many forms and you may wonder how the heck to even use a tip. Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed. When you get a good tip try writing it down and when a good time comes up use it. You do not have to feel pressured to change your style to parenting just because they are the best parenting tips in the world. Let them happen naturally. Use them if you need them. Do not impose yourself to apply the tips as you can drive yourself nuts and perhaps for your kids too.

Parenting tips can be nice. Do not immediately write them off. Try to see if you can use them and you may be surprised at what you can learn. It is amazing sometimes just how great parenting tips can be. Just do not let the people think that you are not a good parent because of your different approach to parenting. Parenting tips are given so that they can build up your skillset.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joseph_Then

How To Modify Parenting Techniques

2009-01-20T20:06:00.000-08:00

MODIFY YOUR PARENTING TECHNIQUES

Our children grow up even before we realize it. It seems like just yesterday that they were crawling around trying to walk and suddenly they're in school, making friends, learning new things and becoming independent. It has been said that as soon as children are born, they are learning to let go. Accordingly, our strategies of parenting must change. Our parenting role must adapt the growth and change that our children go through, maturing and developing with them.

As a child grows, so does their temperament and personality which is unique to them. Without knowing, you would have developed parenting skills that cater to the individuality of your child. No two people are exactly and completely alike, and this applies for children as well. This should reflect in your parenting. Certain children are less sure of themselves and need more guidance while others are very fast at learning and might not require you to constantly guide them. We must according to the child's requirement and need, guide the child and give him or her encouragement to become more independent. While encouraging an independent attitude you must also teach them that it is not wrong to ask for help when required and we must praise and compliment their good deeds, traits and actions.

Our ears and eyes are the most reliable tools we posses in order to adjust and assess our parenting skills. We must keep open eyes and ears to see and hear what is happening in our children's lives and what they are trying to tell us. We must be available to our children whenever they need us as well as constantly urge them to be strong and independent. Sometimes it depends on the situation. A child may not necessarily require you to be directly involved in their academic progress but might require your support when it comes to social issues like making friends and talking to new people.

The bottom line is that your parenting skills should grow and mature as your child's does. Keep an open ear and eye to communicate openly and honestly with your children, and you will both mature into great individuals.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Abhishek_Agarwal

PARENTING TEENS

2009-01-20T20:00:00.000-08:00

A CHALLENGING TASK

Parenting teens is a tough aspect of parenting and represents for many parents the ultimate test. This is the time when the rubber hits the road as a parent, as all of the challenges that were merely child's play during infancy or during the toddler stage are not full blown battlegrounds. The ideologies of teenage life and parental wisdom seem destined to clash, making parenting teens a veritable nightmare for many parents.

Teen parenting differs from child parenting in many ways. Child parenting tends to focus on some of the more simplistic issues in life. Teaching kids to read, while not necessarily easy, is one example of a simpler issue in raising kids.

Once that child grows up into a teenager, however, his or her hormones take over and raising teens becomes a full-time job that calls back memories of earlier days of waking in the middle of the night and worrying constantly. While it is known that no parent stops worrying about his or her child, it is also known that the sense of worry for a parent is no greater than when parenting teens.

Learning about parenting skills is a great way to get in touch with some of the information needed for raising teens. Parenting teens can be tough enough without education or information, but learning about raising a teenager can help alleviate some of that difficulty.

As parents band together, they become more confident in the skills that they can exercise. When a parent is faced with complicated issues dealing with parenting teens, he or she can now face those issues with confidence and their newly learned skills.

Many teen raising magazines offer some great advice on parenting teens. This way of learning about raising teens is a great way to get connected with some expert advice and learn more about some of the fundamentals of raising teens.

Through the help of parenting magazines, many parents find that raising their teen becomes a whole lot easier and eliminates a lot of the natural stress. Others find comfortable networks of support within these magazines, enabling them to face each day with renewed confidence that prepares them for the challenges ahead.

Parenting teens can take a hefty price from the hearts and souls of many a parent. Spending the night pacing the floor waiting for headlights, or wondering what on earth the teen is up to are common events when it comes to raising teens. The energy it takes can seem unfathomable, but it simply must be gathered if raising teens is to take place with any degree of success.

Regardless of the method, the love of a parent for a teen is unquestionable. This love, however, is often not enough to deal with some of the hurdles that a teen can face in his or her life. Without a solid network of help and support, parenting teens becomes a complicated job that causes endless hours of stress and concern for even the hardiest of parent.

Many parents decide to "go it alone" and take on the responsibilities of raising a teen by themselves. Thankfully, many more parents charged with parenting teens learn that the hardest job in the world cannot be done without the help, education and assistance that can be found virtually anywhere.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Selvon

GAINING PARENTING SKILLS

2009-01-20T14:51:00.000-08:00

Frankly, some people's parenting skills truthfully need some corrections. I have witnessed so many scenes in public places that make me believe that some people should be tested before they are permitted to have children. There are lessons out there that teach basic parenting skills but not enough of people sign up in them. It is almost as if when you have a baby, they launch you home from the hospital devoid of the least clue as to what you are supposed to do with this child. Maybe a manual should be written and presented to parents when they depart the hospital. Any person can be a parent but not every person has the parenting skills essential to raise a child.

A lot of parents' parenting skills come from their own experiences in growing up. They pass down the identical ideals and traditions that their parents instilled in them. I have had two young parents in my office who were both parents before the age of 18. Neither of these persons had the first inkling as to what kind of parenting skills they should have. Interestingly enough, both of those individuals had been born to immature parents as well. Their young parents lacked the values, information and parenting skills to raise their children as well as they should have. One of those children had been mainly raised on the streets since their young parents could not have cared less what he was doing. It is a wonder he didn't end up in jail or dead. At the age of 16, a girl came to him to state that she was pregnant. All of a sudden,he was the one who was in need of some common sense and parenting skills.

My other challenged co-worker gave birth when she was 17. Her mother didn't even know that she was pregnant and had no concern in helping to raise her grandchild when she had hardly even cared to raise her own daughter. She is now under pressure to finish school and raise a child. While some parenting skills are simply common sense, some people actually lack that common sense. This is especially true if they never had parental figures who showed common sense for them. You've heard people say that children are a mirror image of their parents and there is a large amount of truth to that. Parenting skills are the same way. A parent will imitate the parenting skills that their parents showed to them. Of course, this does not hold true for every person. There are individuals who break out of the cycle and I have lots of praise for them.

However, what is important is that before becoming a parent, make sure you have the common sense parenting skills that are needed to raise your child. In no way be fearful to ask someone for guidance or answers. Your child will thank you for it. So will the rest of the world.

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Beth_Stevenson

PARENTING SKILL IS ESSENTIAL

2009-01-20T14:46:00.000-08:00

It can be shocking to see how irresponsible some parents can be. I have observed many irresponsible acts in public that make me think that people should undergo testing and examinations before they are allowed to have offspring. Many people are not taking advantage of basic parenting skills classes that are offered.

Many young parents have no clue whatsoever about what to do with their infant that the hospital had just turned over to them. A manual about parenting should be given to parents when they leave the hospital. Anybody can be a parent but not everyone has the parenting skills required to raise a child properly.

Parenting skills are usually learned from the experience of parental care that those people themselves experienced. Parents pass down the same skills and values that they learned from their own parents to their children.

I have had two clients who asked for advice in my office who became parents before they reached the age of eighteen. Both of them had no practical parental knowledge and lacked the skills that are needed to be able to raise their children. I found out after a quick interview that both of them had been born to underage parents.

Their parents lacked the experience, knowledge, values, and parenting skills to raise them into well balanced individuals. One of my clients was practically raised on the streets because his parents were not paying enough attention to him.

It was fortunate that he did not end up in jail or in the cemetery. In his sixteenth year, a girl came up to him to announce that she was carrying his child. Now he's the one who needs to learn some parenting skills.

My other client gave birth when she was seventeen. Her mother was unaware that she was pregnant and had no desire to help raise a grandchild when she even barely cared to raise her own daughter. This individual is now struggling to balance her time between razing a child and school.

While some parenting skills are merely common sense, it’s a fact that some parents lack that common sense. This is common to people who have no parental figures that demonstrated common sense to them. There really is a great deal of truth to the saying that children are a reflection of their parents.

The same case is true with regards to parenting. A parent will reflect the parenting skills that were passed down to them. Fortunately, there are people who have overcome the problem of not being able to learn basic parenting from their parents.

It is important for young people to have common sense parenting skills needed to raise a child before they become parents. Inexperienced young parents should not hesitate to ask for help or advice. They should remember that it is for their child’s future.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Morgan_Hamilton

HOW TO IMPROVE PARENTING SKILLS

2009-01-20T14:40:00.000-08:00

Raising a child is all about having good parenting skills and learning good parenting techniques. Without parenting skills, the duties of the average parent are reduced to simply struggling around with great difficulty. Of course, the realistic point of view of raising a child is that most parents enter their new role without a clue as to how to achieve their goals and are quickly looking for help.

So where does a parent go to learn good parenting skills? When all hope is lost, many parents find that they actually turn to their own parents for advice. Most parents end up raising their children in ways similar to how they were raised. While this aspect is often a sworn denial among teenage years, sung somewhat to the tune of "I will never be like you", the reality of raising a child often finds a different song of desperation is being sung in subsequent years.

When people are too proud to go to their parents for parenting advice, however, they often turn to other measures. Raising teenagers is typically one of the aspects of parenting that often drives people to drink, for one. Whether or not hitting the bottle is considered a significant or "good" parenting skill is still up for debate, but raising teenagers has been known to drive parents to some pretty unfortunate ends.

Through all of this desperation and despair, parenting skills are still possible. While a parent may have turned to drinking in lieu of asking his or her parents for advice, there are still possibilities for getting the skills necessary to overcome many problems. Raising a teenager is never easy. Many parents prefer almost any other stage in their child's life to teenage parenting, but no stage of raising a child is particularly without its pitfalls.

Parenting skills often can be found by taking a parenting course. Often dubbed as the "land of the lost", counseling for raising a child is actually a very popular course among parents of teenagers. With the reality of raising a teen heavy on the hearts of most of the parents at the parenting course, there is room to grieve and probably share a stiff drink later in the evening. In all seriousness, this network of support is often very helpful to achieving the ultimate goal of learning parenting skills that will help in the raising of a well-adjusted teenager.

With a certificate of success from a such a course in one hand and the phone numbers of other parents of teens in the other, the drive home to teenage children may finally be a walk that some parents feel they can take with more confidence.

Of course, raising a teenager is known for various curve balls and unexpected situations, but with some parenting skills and with a network of support from other parents of teens, it is possible to learn to deal with these situations with a greater sense of control.

Finding parenting skills to cope with situations involving teen children is the end goal of the parent. There is no age limit, in fact, that refers to when a parent stops being a parent, so the life of a parent will seem like an eternity. Raising a teen requires planning and parenting skills, making it one of the most demanding occupations on the planet today.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Selvon

Parenting Skills

2009-01-20T14:35:00.000-08:00

Parenting is a learning experience. There is no rule that once you become a parent you suddenly know everything. In fact, there is no guarantee you will have a clue what you are doing. Parenting is something you have to work at. You have to gather up advice, knowledge and parenting skills so you can use them in your parenting.

Parenting skills come from many places. You have to recognize that how your get parenting skills is not as important as getting them.

Trial and Error

The majority of parenting skills most parents have come from trial and error. A parent tries something, it does not work so they don't try it again or the other way around - they try something, it works so they keep doing it. Learning from mistakes is a part of life and a big part of parenting.

Usually trial and error ends up more funny than anything else. Common sense usually stops it form turning into something horrible or dangerous. Trail and error is a fine way to gain parenting skills and something every parent does.

Other Parents

Other parents are another big source of parenting skills. Most people parent according to how their parents parented them. We learn from what we know. We watch other parents and we learn form them. This is the natural way to learn parenting skills and how you will likely gain most of your parenting skills.

You may even talk to other parents and interact with their children before you even become a parent. You will get cautions and good advice that will help you get ready for parenting though other parents who have experience.
Classes and Research

It is becoming common for parents to attend parenting classes or read books as a way to gain parenting skills. Learning from professionals and experts is a great way to gain skills. They are tried and true methods that are backed with a trusted authority. You can rely on this advice and use it to build up your parenting skills.

Parenting skills are something you learn one way or another. You may even pick them up without ever even knowing it. Many parenting skills are a part of you naturally. They are things that you are born knowing or know form life experience. Others are something that you will instantly pick up once you become a parent. For example, you need no one to teach you the most important parenting skill - love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joseph_Then

DISCIPLINE

2009-01-07T00:14:00.000-08:00

Be Clear, Be Firm, Be Consistent

Children learn best by being given clear, firm and consistent direction from parents who are clear, firm and consistent in their approach.

How to Discipline Children by Being Clear:

Firstly find and maintain clarity within yourself and then follow through on simple, clear instructions. Clarify for your self what being clear means.

It is about being plain, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean.

It isn't about maybe this or maybe that.

Often parents have no idea that they chop and change their minds within minutes. To become clear about your own patterns of behavior, observe yourself and ask for your partner's help in this.

"We are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes", is clear and direct. Follow this with, "Please help me tidy up your toys now" and it means just that. Be firm with yourself about this. It doesn't mean soon, or later, but now. I have seen parents give out this simple instruction, then become distracted themselves by a television program, conversation or magazine.

What their children observe is parents saying one thing and doing another and this gives a much distorted message. Multiplied over many times each day, is it any wonder that children cease to follow simple instructions?

How to Discipline Children by Being Firm:

Firstly find and maintain firmness for yourself and then follow through with firm clear directions in a firm, clear tone.

Clarify for your self what being firm means. To be firm is to be certain, definite, and determined. It is also being loving, kind and calm. It means saying no and meaning no, or saying yes and meaning yes and sticking to it. It's about now being now.

How often does your no become perhaps, later, maybe giving in, next time, soon, or alright then? This is a very common fault in how to discipline children and again it leads to numerous mixed messages for children.

Resolve within yourself and with your partner's help to ascertain how often you are both easily swayed into changing your decisions. Are you allowing your children to manipulate you? Imagine how simple your life will become when you are clear and firm within yourself. It is every child's right to KNOW they can trust their parent's boundaries.

So firstly, become firm with your own boundaries and then apply this to your parenting discipline. "It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes" is a clear direction. Now follow through on this. Giving the direction in a calm, clear, firm tone of voice helps your children to understand that you mean what you say. Being firm is about being in control of both yourself and the situation.

How to Discipline Children by Being Consistent:

Firstly find and maintain consistency for yourself and then follow through with a firm, clear, consistent approach. Clarify for yourself what being consistent means. To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and constant. These words immediately convey comfort don't they? Let's look at the opposite of being consistent. Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. That's definitely lacking in comfort and safety. So how do you want to be seen by your children?

To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines. Be aware that this is very true. It takes concentrated effort and time to change old habits to new ones, but if you maintain consistency, you will be very surprised how quickly new patterns of behavior are formed.

Parenting Discipline In Summary: With parenting discipline we are teaching our children how to have self control, self discipline and to become self reliant, so they are able to make good choices for themselves. The only way children can learn to do this is by being given the opportunities for this learning. This means not over protecting them, or doing everything for them, but maximizing their opportunities to learn through personal experience and observation, even when this means making mistakes.

Can you see the opportunities here to change some of your own patterns of behavior into superior ones? Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting. You learn to trust your own responses and your children are surrounded by your loving constancy.

This is the recipe for creating a happy, well adjusted family.

by: Helen Williams